I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
