Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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