I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
