He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That accounts for only three of the penises
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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