ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
