aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
