He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
