It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
