Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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