I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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