he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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