I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
