Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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