just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
