I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i drank out of a bidet.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize