Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
BRING THE BAGELS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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