this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have already put on my inside pants.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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