News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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