just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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