DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
