You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
