I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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