there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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