who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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