nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
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on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You dont lie about slip and slides
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize