Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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