i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
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Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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