OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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