a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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