awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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