And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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