I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
