Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
