I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i think im in europe. pls send help
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
