What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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