I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
PANTIES FOUND
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