At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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