OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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