I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize