If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
