I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
