Its about making memories worth repressing
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
