Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You made out with two different species that night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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