im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
