Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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