grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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