i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
