please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Your dad touched me again.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
