I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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