her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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