week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
