First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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