he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
