Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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