i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
