i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
is it fun? or sober?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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