i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
