Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
