why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
