There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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