White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
