we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We don't watch enough power rangers
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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