I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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